Photo from shoot at Scarlett Hall by The Artful Event Co - florals by Ivy Pip & Rose

A few weeks back, I shared some of the tips we have learned as wedding photographers, this week I want to share a few things I wish we knew when planning our wedding 5 years ago. There is a lot to be gained experience wise when working as a photographer, but when I got married I wasn’t yet in the industry and there is so much I learned from this experience. Obviously, when it comes to weddings there is no take two so hopefully you can learn a little from my experience.

1. YOU Don’t Need To invite All those people

This may be a little controversial because I know that every wedding is different and priorities are different for everyone but this is my advice: If you have any doubts in your mind as to why you are inviting someone, if you should invite them, or if you even really know them, then probably don’t. If you are worried about causing offence, remember that the people who love you the most want what you want. We had just over 100 guests at our wedding but if I were to plan our wedding again I would probably max out at 30. Less guests means a number of things - you get to speak to everyone there, you get to invest in an incredible experience rather than stretching the budget and watering it down and you will have less confusion when looking back at your photos in a couple of years and asking ‘why were they there?’. Don’t get me wrong, I had an incredible day and I still have a lot of the people who were at our wedding very much in my life, but I don’t have 100 friends now and I don’t think I did then either. If you are planning a small wedding, be honest and don’t make excuses, it is your day and you owe it to the people you love to give them the best environment you can create.

2. You Should Unplug The Ceremony

I’ve talked about unplugging here before and I certainly will again. I am a huge believer in hiring professionals to do their job and letting them do it. Stopping your guests from having their phone out during the ceremony isn’t mean or controlling, it allows them to enjoy being present in the moment. It also avoids any ugly photos of arms and phones hanging out in the middle of the aisle. If you take any tips on board from this post this should be the one.

3. You Should Definitely Hire a Videographer

I know, I know. We are filmmakers and we had no wedding film. Of all my post wedding regrets this is my biggest. We only have a very tiny selection of incredibly short clips of video from the days that instagram only allowed fifteen seconds. I wish so badly we had a film to watch so that I could see our guests interacting, listen to James preform the song he wrote for me (every time I remember I have no video of that it breaks my heart a little) and hear my dad’s speech. Having no wedding film makes us so much more focused when creating films for our couples now and we are always a little jealous that we don’t have one ourselves. Video is super, super important and you should definitely be budgeting for a professional.

4. A First Look is Better Than Seeing Each Other at The Ceremony

In my mind, I was going to walk down the isle, our eyes would meet, a tear would slowly fall down James’ cheek and we would stand and tell each other how amazing we thought we both looked. The reality of the situation was that I can’t remember the exact moment I saw James, I remember he was smiling and I remember that he forgot to remove my veil from my face until prompted because we were in a rush to sit down and get straight into the ceremony. It was still absolutely lovely but I honestly wish that I had had a few moments with him before walking down the isle. I’d have been a LOT less nervous, I would have had time to tell him how perfect he looked and how much I loved him. We didn’t get to actually talk until after we were married and in all honesty that seems weird to me. First looks may be none traditional but I definitely wish we had one.

5. You Shouldn’t Wear Your hair Up If you don’t want to

Everyone said I should wear my hair up because it looked better with the dress. I wanted to wear my hair down and Jamie wanted me to wear my hair down. Why did I think it was so important? Or that all the people saying they thought it would look better up would even care? If I’d have worn my hair down I would have felt more comfortable and I know now that nobody would have said they didn’t like it. Feeling like yourself on your wedding day is really important, if you have any doubts about the look you have decided on it is never to late to change your mind (unless, like me, you realise after the fact).

6. You Should Do A speech If you want to and you shouldn’t if you don’t

James did a speech he didn’t really want to do, and secretly I desperately wanted to do a speech but didn’t think people would approve. Why I thought that I don’t really know, but I do know that I wish I had given a speech. I would have loved the opportunity to thank all of the people that I loved rather than passing that responsibility onto the best man (James said maybe three sentences before dinner because speeches really were not his number one priority). Of course, I did thank them personally, but I would definitely give a speech if I was getting married now. I also would tell Jamie he didn’t have to do one.

All in all, our wedding was a truly happy and joyful experience. We loved every second and I am disinclined to say I would change anything about it, at the time it was perfect. There is a just a lot of learning that goes on and you only really learn it after the fact, so I feel it important to share that experience so that maybe you can learn a little while planning your day.